The Amazing Adventures of Donna, Joker, and Batman
by JimandSteve
Summary: Donna, the Joker, and Batman are hosting a show where the *readers* get to decide where they will travel! What strange places will they go? What weird adventures will they have? How should I know? Now in Paris, France with Superman & Spiderman!
1. INTRODUCTION

**The Amazing Adventures of Donna, Joker, and Batman**

_INTRODUCTION_

*Random show tune*

Donna: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, we are...tonight's entertainment!

Joker: Hey, that's _my_ line.

Bruce: It's not even evening. It's like, nine in the morning.

Donna: Oh hush. *waves at camera* Hey, crazy over obsessed fan fictions writers like myself! Welcome to our show!

Harvey: You guys have a show?!

Joker: This is evil. *grins* I think I'm going to enjoy this...

Bruce: Say, isn't that the pizza delivery guy?

Donna: You guys mind? Anyway, welcome to our show. For the rest of eternity, we will be entertaining you by having a bunch of adventures that will have nothing to do with anything.

Bruce: Translated, that means we will be traveling all over the world. *holds up wallet that contains plane tickets*

Joker: *pulls out lighter and sets money on fire*

Bruce: MONEY! MY BEAUTIFUL MONEY!

Joker: Also, we will be having several cameo experiences from several of our *cough* not so favorite characters.

Harvey: That's not what the script says!

Donna: Part of our adventures will include going on a cruise ship -

Bruce: That _I _own!

Donna: Going to the great forests of Amazon -

Joker: *mutters* That won't last long...

Donna: And visiting some of the greatest cities in history such as Dallas, Texas.

*crickets*

Bruce: I did not sign up for _that_.

Joker: I can't wait!

Harvey: As anyone seen my underwear?

Donna: So until then peoples, please let us know where you would like us to travel first.

Alfred: *hands piece of paper to Bruce*

Bruce: Oh yes, this fan fiction was inspired by _OutcastToReality_'s amazing story! Please check it out!

Joker: Or I will burn Harvey's underwear.

Harvey: NO!

Donna: You guys are so retarded.

*Camera blacks out*


	2. POSTCARD: Bruce's Cruiser

**I decided to post a couple adventures so that you guys could have a sample :D Enjoy, I had a blast writing this! And please, let me know what you think. **

_POSTCARD # 1_

*Random show tune*

Bruce: *Holding camera sorta like the Joker would* Well, hello ! As you can see, we are on my very own cruise ship -

Joker: That he named after his hamster.

Bruce: Shut up! Jo Jo was very special to me.

Joker: Oh, I'm sure. *licks ice cream cone*

Bruce: Where did you get that?

Joker: Relax, Bats. I just stole it from a pirate ship that's about to attack us.

Bruce: WHAT?!

Donna: *rushes into camera view* Joker, what did you do?!

Joker: *continues licking ice cream cone* Want some?

Donna: No time for that! Bruce, you need to save the day!

Bruce: All by myself? *starts whimpering*

Donna: What do you mean? You're the defender of Gotham, you protect it single handily!

Bruce: Er...not exactly. I have stunt men who do my fighting for me.

Joker: *drops ice cream cone* WHAT?!

Donna: You choose now of all times to tell us that? Give me the camera! *grabs camera* This show is _not_ ending this way. Joker -

Joker: Yes, Puddin'?

Donna: *glares* I want you to do your thing. Get your bombs, knifes, guns and give these pirates something to write home about.

Joker: *starts floating with happiness*

Bruce: Who are you calling?

Donna: *enters phone number into cell phone* 1-800-NINJAS.

Joker: *randomly dresses up as a ninja*

Bruce: Where did you get that costume?

Joker: Will you stop asking questions? If you must know, it was inside my coat's pockets.

Donna: *hangs up* Okay, they're sending a team over.

Bruce: Hey! A ninja!

Ninja: What's up?

Joker: *totally freaks out* A REAL NINJA!

Ninja: Yep. That's me.

Donna: What's your name?

Ninja: I'm Steve and this is *points at extremely tall ninja that looks like a professional boxer* PeeWee.

PeeWee: *squeaky voice* I like flowers.

*Pirates board ship*

Pirate: ARGH!

Bruce: AAAAAH!

Donna: Holy cow, that dude needs to shave.

Pirate: ARGH! Who stole our ice cream?

*Everyone points at the Joker*

Joker: Gee thanks. *grins nervously at the pirate* Can I help you?

Pirate: ARGH! You stole our ice cream!

Joker: *innocent face* Me? I've been here the whole time. Where have you been?

Bruce: *appears wearing Batman outfit* Oh yeah, who's cool?

Pirate: *screams* ARGH! TIGHTS! *jumps off of ship and gets eaten by sharks*

Donna: Well, that's one way to do it.

Joker: Bats, you seriously need to stop wearing those tights. They're pretty brain damaging. How do you manage to ever get a date?

Bruce: Oh, and your make up isn't freaky?

Joker: Hey, the ladies _love_ it.

Donna: You keep telling yourself that.

Joker: See?

Harvey: Hey, guys! I found my underwear!

Donna: Well, peoples, that's all for today. Tomorrow, we'll get heading over to the exciting Hawaiian islands. That is, unless the Joker decides to blow up the plane we'll be flying on.

Joker: *grins*

Bruce: My tights are itchy.

*Camera flicks off*

*Camera flicks back on*

Joker: Hey, I didn't get to use my explosives!

Donna: Suck it up, _Romeo_.

*Camera flicks off*


	3. Bruce's Cruiser Pt 2

_POSTCARD #1 Pt. 2_

*Random show tune*

Joker: Shush, do you want us to get caught?

Camera man: No...

Joker: Then stop talking and film! *grins into camera* Welcome back to this sad excuse of a show. I decided after the last *coughs* _postcard_ that our wonderful viewers needed some, uh, actual explosions. So, as you can see, I've wired up Bruce's precious butler, Al, to the bomb -

Alfred: Pardon me, Master J.

Joker: Er, what?

Alfred: My name's, Alfred, sir.

Joker: Oh, right. Whatever. Anyway, Al here is tied up to the bomb, so if Bats tries to free him, everyone on the cruise boat dies. *laughs* Isn't this hilarious?!

Alfred: I'm not seeing what's so funny.

Joker: Just laugh, Al.

Alfred: Ha. Ha.

Joker: I should be comedian!

Donna: You wish.

Joker: Where'd you come from?!

Bruce: We've been standing behind you for an entire hour while you've been yelling at the camera guy.

Donna: In my_ shower_. Which, by the way, you're so cleaning up the mess you made in my room after this.

Joker: Party poopers. *holds up detonator* Well, this cruise ship sure has been a _blast_.

Bruce: *dresses up as Batman* NEVER!

Donna: You're going to blow up this ship with a roll of toilet paper?

Joker: What?

Alfred: _**BWHAHAH**_!

Everyone: *blinks*

Alfred: *clears throat* I meant, I got it when he wasn't looking.

Bruce: I see...I think.

Alfred: *tosses detonator to Donna and skips out whistling*

Donna: How about some breakfast?

Bruce: YAY!

Joker: Let's take the elevator!

Camera man: Need to change the battery.

*camera flicks off then on*

Donna: Will you two shut up?!

Joker: Why? You _know_ you _like_ it.

Donna: Well, maybe I would if you two didn't sound like a bunch of whales barfing.

Bruce: I had no idea my singing was that good.

Joker: Come on, Donny, singing with the elevator music is fun *grins*

Bruce: _I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world, life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me anywhere. Imagination, life is your creation..._

Joker: Then again...

Bruce: What?

Donna: *holding head* Brain damage! Bruce, never_ ever_ do those dancing moves again!

Bruce: *glares*

Joker: I've lost my appetite. *steps out of elevator* Let's go - AAAH!

Random Guy Wearing a TuTu: Yo.

Bruce: And you thought _I_ was bad.

Donna: Who are you?

Random Guy Wearing a TuTu: I'm Waldo the Wonder Fairy.

Joker: Say, aren't you that guy that grants people wishes if they do what you want?

Waldo: Why, yes, I am!

Donna: Cool! Can we have wishes?

Bruce: I want a pony!

Harvey: I want a new package of underwear!

Joker: We have to do a quest first..._DUH_.

Waldo: Yes. For a quest, you must all go and bring me back a giant banana that is shaped like George Lucas's head and then give me all of your money so that I can *cough* keep it safe.

Donna: Why does this sound like a scam?

Bruce: Nonsense! We can trust him!

Joker: *tackles fairy* GET HIS WAND!

Waldo: NEVER!

Bruce: That's my line! You shall pay!

Donna: *grabs wand and runs around cruise ship* I wish for a million donuts! *tosses it to Joker*

Joker: I wish for lots of chaos! *tosses it to Bruce*

Bruce: I wish for -

Harvey: *grabs wand* I want my underwear!

Camera man: I quit!

*camera flicks off*


	4. POSTCARD 2: Jurassic Park

**Not my wackiest story but I enjoyed writing it non the less :D **

**I just realized that I've never put a disclaimer in my stories! Oh no! So here it is: I don't own any of these characters except Donna. And for all of those people who don't know who Donna is, I really don't know who she is either. Ha, random character! **

_POSTCARD #2 Jurassic Park_

*Random show tune*

Donna: Bruce, will you stop trying to crawl into the Raptor cage? Oh, we're filming. Welcome back to day three of our trip around the world. Today, we decided that we'd visit the fascinating site of...Jurassic Park.

Joker: Even to a guy like me - this is dangerously _stupid_.

Donna: What's so stupid about this? There's so much security here, nothing could escape.

Bruce: Yet for some weird reason, they let _him_ enter.

Joker: Hey, _I _don't bite people.

Tour Guide: Looks like we have a storm heading this way. If you all could please get inside of the Jeep, we will be taking you back to the museum.

Donna: Say, has anyone ever told you you look like Steven Spielberg?

Steven: Aw, shucks, I can't hide from you fans.

*lightening strikes, causing all the power to go out*

Bruce: GAAAAA! Run!

Joker: *pulls Steven out of car* Oh, excuse me, I want to drive. Come on, guys!

Donna: Holy cow! A T-Rex is right behind us!

Bruce: I'm too good looking to die!

Joker: *laughs*

Donna: Joker, where are you going?!

Joker: The gift shop, I want a snack.

Bruce: Yay! Can we get cotton candy?

Joker: No.

Donna: _You're _going to be the snack, clown!

Joker: Oh, _please_. Just a quick five minute stop.

Donna: Could you at least loose the dinosaur?

Bruce: I'll save the day! *dresses up in Batman outfit*

Joker & Donna: GAAAAAAA! *car flips*

Bruce: My hair! *crawls out of car* Whoa, that Dino is big. *blinks* It's bigger than _me_.

Joker: *rolls eyes*

Camera Man: What do we do?

Donna: Stay still. Perfectly still and qui-

Bruce: *singing*_**Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, all the dinosaurs are running wild!**_

*T-Rex eats Camera Man*

*camera flickers out*

_**To Be Continued...**_

Harvey: Wait a minute, I wasn't in this one!

Alfred: With all due respect, sir, _shut up_.

Harvey: Oh you're just jealous because your underwear isn't as comfortable as mine!

Alfred: That's it, I'm getting myself a new job!

Harvey: What? But you can't! Bruce said that you had to stay with me while he went to Jurassic Park.

Alfred: Well you know what? I don't bloody care! *storms out*

_**Please let me know which adventure I should do next (after this one of course):**_

_**(1) They actually go to Hawaii**_

_**(2) They go into outer space**_

_**or (3) They go to Egypt and explore haunted ruins *spooky voice***_

_**One last thing, who should be a cameo for the next story? Scarecrow? Jim Gordan? "Weird Al" Yankovic? Choosy, choosy!**_


	5. Jurassic Park Pt2

**Oh my gosh! You guys are so awesome! I love you all!** ***hugs everyone* Thank you all for reviewing and commenting! *sighs* So happy...**

**Anyway, here's the story. I will be working on the next story soon and will be posting more story ideas :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these Batman characters. Who started up that rumor?**

_POSTCARD #2 Pt. 2_

*thunder and lightening*

Joker: *laughs*

Donna: That's no way to start off an episode.

Bruce: Should we stop the tape?

Joker: Na, we're already filming. Besides, that T-Rex hasn't noticed us yet.

Donna: Wonderful! That gives us time to use my copy of _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_.

Bruce & Joker: YAY!

Guide: _According to time travelers, when a person is about to be eaten by any sort of dinosaur, the best thing to do is to look as unpleasant to eat as possible. By acting like a headless chicken, a singing walrus, or a person who knows how many hairs there on the Vampire Hamster, dinosaurs will most likely run away in distress. If however, this does not work, instantly call up Chuck Norris or anyone who knows him . _

Joker: And here we go! *runs around like a headless chicken*

Donna: WOAF! WOAF! I'm a singing walrus!

Bruce: *points at his head* I know how many hairs there are! Yes, I do!

*T-Rex roars*

Donna: Welp, that didn't work. Anyone know Chuck Norris's phone number?

Joker: Not I!

Bruce: Never fear! *throws them light sabers*

Donna: Oooh, shiny *grins*

Joker: *chops off T-Rex's leg* I am so getting one of these! Hey, Bats, how do you change the colors? *presses button* Never mind!

Donna: You changed it to purple. Shocking.

Bruce: DIE! DIE! DIE!

Donna: Ew, are brain's supposed to look like that?

Joker: Well, that's one less dinosaur. Now, for the gift shop!

Bruce: Hurray!

Donna: Ode to joy.

*They enter gift shop*

Bruce: Say...what's that funny looking thing in the corner?

Alfred: Funny looking thing? _Really_, Master Bruce.

Joker: What are you doing here, Al?

Alfred: *smiles nervously* I'm sorry, but after spending five minutes with Mr. Dent, I couldn't stand it any longer. So, I got myself a job here as a gift shop employee.

Donna: YAY! That means you'll give us discounts, right?

Alfred: Actually, I just got fired two seconds ago.

Bruce: Aw, shucks. Well, can you point me to the nearest restroom?

*Alfred points*

Joker: Say, Al, you don't think they'll mind if a couple of snacks go missing? *puts chips in coat pocket*

Alfred: Of course not, sir.

Bruce: Hey, guys, they have a transporter here!

Joker & Donna: Ooooh! Aaaaaw!

Bruce: Anyone have a quarter?

Alfred: I do, sir, but it only allows one trip.

Donna: No problem, our viewers have already told us where to go!

Joker: Back home?

Donna: No, Hawaii!

Bruce: *puts on grass skirt*

Alfred: Master Bruce, please, at least where some shorts under that.

Donna: Yeah, we have ladies in the room.

Joker:_** HEY!**_

Bruce: *pokes in zip code* HANG ON!

*crickets*

Joker: Welp, I guess we'll be _flying_ there.

Donna: Thanks for watching, stay tuned for our next Postcard!

Harvey: _**You're filming without me again?!**_

Alfred: Oh, _please_...

**Thanks for reading guys! Please review!**

**Random scribble:**

Bruce: Are you sure these leaves are edible?

Joker: Sure they are! They're listed in this safety book I have.

Donna: Would you pass the Ranch?

Bruce: NEVER!

Alfred: With all due respect, Mister J, these leaves are listed under the "What NOT to Eat" section.

Bruce: Why does my throat feel itchy?


	6. POSTCARD 3: Hawaii

**Hey! Hey! You! You! *laughs* I just wanted to let you know, I put my butt on the line to write this story. I worked on it at school when I should have been doing *cough* educational things. So yes, please review and give me your crazy ideas where they should travel and who they should go with and blah, blah, blah. Don't worry, if you have already sent in your ideas, they're on my list! **

**Disclaimer: I only own Donna! BWHAHA!**

*Random Show Tune*

Treasure Dude: Now remember kiddies, who ever gets to the treasure first, claims the prize!

Little Boy: Mommy, is that guy a cross dresser?

Random Extra Person: *looks at treasure map* This is so _chaotic_.

Joker: Why'd you think I signed up for this?

Donna: Hmm, this is going to be complicated. Gentlemen, time to improvise! What do we have?

Bruce: Let's see...oh, look! I have a GPS!

Joker: Wow! And I just so happen to have a flame thrower in my pocket!

Donna: You guys are the best! Oh, look, we're filming. Mr. J, will you do the honors?

Joker: You know, I think I will, Donny. Hello there you schemers who are still watching this, uh, so called "show"-

Olivia (Me): Watch it, _Jackie Boy_.

Joker: Whatever you say, _Beautiful_.

Olivia: GAAAAAAAAAA! *tries to drown in lemon aid*

_**Note: In real life, I would have totally melted. Haha!**_

Bruce: This is day six of our tour around the world!

Donna: And we are proudly in, Hawaii!

Bruce: *dresses up grass skirt*

Joker: No one asked to see your legs, Bats.

Alfred: Master Bruce, please!

Donna: Is everyone ready to begin?

Joker & Bruce: Yay!

GPS: Turn right at palm tree.

Bruce: Er, which palm tree?

GPS: The one I'm pointing at, idiot! By the way, nice legs.

Donna: I am _deeply_ disturbed. *pukes*

Joker: Alright, at palm tree. What next?

GPS: Use your flame thrower and burn a path for half a mile.

Donna: Hmm, this treasure hunt is getting more and more interesting.

Joker: *laughing*_** I LOVE MY JOB! I LOVE MY JOB! I LOVE MY JOB!**_

Bruce: *pulls out a bag of hot dogs* Since we're in the mood for a good fire...

Alfred: Should I hand out the drinks, sir?

Bruce: Absolutely! Just hold out on giving Mister J his milk shake till he's done.

Donna: *puts on sun glasses* Don't give it to him at all. Don't you know he went through rehab because of those Root Beer Floats they sell at Sonic?!

Bruce: *sniffs* I had no idea...

Joker: Hey guys! I found the treasure chest!

Bruce & Donna: YAY!

Donna: *pulls out lightsaber and cuts lock*

Bruce: Is that...is that "Weird Al" Yankovic?

Weird Al: At last, I am free!

Joker: What happened?

Weird Al: I was playing my accordion one night-

Bruce: Oh no, oh no, oh no! This is going to be one of those long boring stories isn't it?

Donna: Sorry, Al, we run on a tight schedule.

Joker: *shoves Weird Al back into chest* Nice meeting you! Loved your new single!

Alfred: Milkshake, Mister J?

Bruce: Well, that was fun.

Donna: Yes, it was. But don't worry kiddies, we'll back with more in Hawaii!

Joker: Yeah, Olivia with her silly three page rule.

Olivia: I'm warning you, Joker! If you don't stop, I'll bring _him_ into the next Postcard!

Joker: Wanna know how I got my scars?

Olivia: I already do: Christopher Nolan gave them to you.

Donna: He said they were paper cuts.

Bruce: He told me a toaster attacked him.

Olivia: BWHAHAH!

**Holy cow! Who could this **_**him**_** possibly be? Well, you have to keep reading to find out! Review and I will love you!**

**It took me forever to finally come up with an introduction, so here's some of the throw away ideas I fiddled around with. Don't be surprised if they show up reused :D**

**Deleted Scene #1:**

Bruce: Personally, I think north is that way.

Joker: What good is your stupid compass if you don't know how to use it?

Donna: Gentlemen, please. First of all, north is _that_ way. Second of all, we are filming.

Joker: Ode to joy, Donny.

*silence*

Joker: Well, is anyone going to start us off?

Bruce: I thought Donna was going to.

Donna: I started off the last video.

Joker: And I started off the one after the one she did.

Donna: Laughing is _not_ starting off.

Bruce: Hey, why don't we let the new camera guy have a turn?

Joker: Wonderful idea, Bats! *grins evilly*

Camera Guy: Er...okay. Hi, uh, it's...day six for this tour and uh, we're in Hawaii.

Donna: And we have just been invited on a treasure hunt!

**Deleted Scene #2:**

*Random Show Tune*

Bruce: Morning sunshine, the earth says hello!

Donna: Real cute, Bruce. Real cute. Welcome back to day six of our exciting, wonderful-

Joker: Pathetic, humiliating -

Bruce: Boring, lame -

Donna: Show. *glares*

Bruce: Right now we're on an air plane headed to Hawaii and it really rocks!

Joker: The service here is great, they give us peanuts for free. *stabs peanuts*

Donna: Plus, we're about to start our Dance-o-Rama party: _**So let's get it started!**_

*disco balls come down from the ceiling and Donna, Bruce, and Mr. J start dancing around the air plane while everyone looks at them like their crazy*

Weird Al: Hey, aren't you those people who travel around the world?

Joker: Yep, that's us! Say, wanna know how I got my scars?

Weird Al: Not really. You wanna know how my hair got all curly?

Joker: This guy is _good_.

Bruce: "Weird Al" Yankovic! *bows down* I love you!

Weird Al: Please, no pictures.

Camera Guy: Hey guys, are air planes suppose to smoke like that?

Donna: Quick, everyone, get your towels out!

Weird Al: Towels?

Bruce: Are you stupid? You always carry a towel around with you!

Joker: Bats, give me back my purple towel.

Bruce: The one with the penguins?

Joker: *sarcastic* No, the one with the teddy bears - _Of course the ones with the penguins!_


	7. Hawaii Pt2

**Hey, guys, sorry for not writing all this week, but you know, school comes first :P So yeah, I'm currently working on the requests I have received (**_**Egypt, Mexico**_**). I might have start writing only one part episodes *coughs* er, **_**postcards**_**. **

**As usual, please review and let me know what you think :D**

**Disclaimer: Who is telling you those awful lies? For the last time, me and the Joker are **_**not**_** going out! *coughs* I mean, I don't own any characters expect Donna. **

Fox: Good afternoon, Alfred. Doing a bit of filming, are we?

Alfred: Yes I am, Mr. Fox. Master Wayne and his friends are currently occupied so they asked me to film for them. *presses zoom button*

*Donna, Bruce, and Mr. J run past the camera while being chased by a giant octopus*

Fox: Yes, they do seemed to be a bit busy. I suppose I could wait until later to discuss the traveling arrangements for the next episode tomorrow.

Alfred: I think that would best. Lemon aid?

*Random Show Tune*

– _Ten Minutes Earlier –_

Harvey: ... and that's why I should be president!

*crickets*

Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Donna: Free brownies? Hot dog nights? Story time? Who on earth would vote for -

Bruce: _**Holy freedom fries! I love you, man!**_

Rachel: This is embarrassing. *waves at camera* Welcome to the seventh postcard of this show!

Donna: Obviously, we're still in Hawaii, but after we find another travel agent, we'll be leaving soon!

Joker: Thank goodness, everyone here keeps giving me weird looks.

Bruce: Hmm, could it be the incredibly scary nurse outfit you keep putting on?

Joker: _Tsk, tsk_. Do I sense some envy for my good looks? *winks at Donna*

Donna: *glares*

Harvey: Holy cow! A tribe of natives!

Native Dude: At long last my homies, we have found the perfect bride for our chief!

Donna & Rachel: Me?

Native Dude: Don't be silly. The young damsel in the nursing outfit, of course!

Everyone: ....

Joker: *unstoppable laughter* That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!

Harvey: He thinks the Joker is a girl!

Bruce: HAHAHAH! That's hilarious!

Donna: You can't be serious.

Native Dude: Of course we are serious! Tonight, this young beauty will marry our chief and be our lovely queen!

Joker: But, uh, I'm not a girl.

Native Dude: Of course you are. You're wearing a dress aren't you?

Joker: You don't get out much do you?

Harvey: Are you sure you don't want Donna? Or Rachel? Those two really -

Donna & Rachel: ***GLARE OF DOOM***

Harvey: _**Oh, my brains! Stop it! Stop it!**_

Native Dude: Enough talk. Take the bride with us!

Bruce: NEVER! *pulls out wand*

Joker: Say, isn't that the wand Waldo the Wonder Fairy had?

Donny: Hey, it is! *tosses camera to Alfred* Let's get this party started!

Bruce: I wish this Native Dude would turn into a huge octopus!

Donna & Joker: What?

*Native Dude turns into a huge octopus*

Joker: Holy hand grenades! That octopus is...purple. *grins*

Donna: GAAA! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Bruce: I'm too good looking to die!

Joker: HAHAHAHAH!

Fox: Pardon me...

*Donna, Bruce, Mr. J, and octopus turn around*

Joker: You mind? You're ruining this perfectly chaotic moment.

Fox: My apologies, but we do need to discuss tomorrow's postcard.

Bruce: *sighs* Fine. *wishes octopus was a cookie*

Donna: Oh...Orea :D

Alfred: Lemon aid anyone?

*camera flicks off*

_**Next Time on The Amazing Adventures of Donna, the Joker, and Batman...**_

_**Joker: Since when did we have "Next Times"?**_

_**Donna: Since Fox added us to that stupid 'Realty Tv' channel.**_

_**Bruce: Hey, we got free brownies didn't we?**_

_**Harvey: I believe in brownies!**_

_**Alfred: Dr. Crane, please?**_

_**Crane: Certainly, Alfred. Next time, we'll be traveling the hot deserts of Egypt where I will be leading Donna, Bruce, and the Joker down into some of the most *grins* frightening locations.**_

_**Gordan: So keep an eye out! More cameos may appear :D**_

_**Joker: And tell us where we should travel or else Alfie boy here...*grins***_

_**Alfred: *sighs***_

_**Donna: You have **_**got**_** to get some new hostages.**_

_**Joker: Whatever you say, Beautiful.**_

_**Rachel: That's **_**my**_** nickname!**_

_**Olivia: No, **_**mine**_**!**_

_***cat fight***_

_**Crane: *scribbles down notes* Dear me, this looks like a serious case of Fan Girlism.**_

_**Harvey: Why does **_**he**_** get the girls?**_

_**Bruce: *shrugs* Anyway, while Olivia is working on the Egyptian and Mexico episode, we need your help!**_

_**Gordan: That's right, we need to know what locations after the next one we should travel to.**_

_**Rachel: *shoves Olivia off* Should we head to the South Pole?**_

_**Joker: Explore under water cities?**_

_**Bruce: Or perhaps travel through time?**_

_**Harvey: Maybe we could to Dallas, Texas...**_

_***crickets***_

_**Bruce: For the last time, I need **_**not**_** sign up for that!**_

_**Donna: We're looking forward to hearing from you :)**_

_**Gordan: And if you have any questions you would like to ask us...**_

_**Harvey: Such as what size of underwear I wear...**_

_**Joker: Don't hesitate. Be Chaotic!**_

_***Commercial ends***_


	8. Special Edition Hot N Cold 1: Egypt

_**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not writing in a while, school has been a big pain in the buttocks. A huge hug to mi amiga Miss OutcastToReality for helping me out with this chapter, I was feeling really nervous about it. –You deserve a really big cookie!– Enjoy and keep an eye out for the next episode!**_

Postcard #8: Egypt

Bruce: Welcome to a rare edition of our show!

Donna: Today, we have a very special guest joining us here in Egypt.

Joker: Special as in the *points at head* special kind of_ special_.

Alfred: Salutations, Dr. Crane.

Crane: Thank you, Alfred! I'd like to introduce my pet, Mr. Po Po.

Donna: You brought a whale to Egypt?

Joker: Told ya he was special.

Harvey: Why does your whale look like my mother?

Bruce: Oh my gosh! It's a Pop Tart storm! Run!

Crane: GAAA! Run, Mr. Po Po -_** run**_!

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

*Random Show Tune*

_--Inside a pyramid --_

Harvey: Tails, I punch your head. Heads, I punch your tail.

Bruce: What have I told you about being rude to whales?

Donna: Good grief, you'd think after five minutes we'd find a restaurant in this pyramid.

Alfred: Perhaps we should ask for directions.

Joker: Clever idea!

Crane: Excuse me, good sir.

Mummy: Yes?

Crane: We are looking for the nearest restaurant. Would you happen to know where we could find one?

Mummy: Why, you are in front of my very own at this moment! The Fabulous Restaurant of Awesomeness ©!

Everyone:_ Ooooh...Awww_!

Mummy: So..._Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test!_ _And have some yogurt to complete your apatite_! *throws yogurt blows at them while mummies dances around* _So be our guest, be our guest, Beeeeeeeeee Ourrrrrrrrrrrrrrr __**GUESTTTTTT!!!**_

Harvey: I love this place!

Joker: Say... I just remembered: I speak whale! _OOOHH UHHHHH BLAAAAAAH!_

Mr. Po Po: *stares at the Joker for a while - goes into a murderous rampage*

Donna: Time to run!

Crane: *pulls out toxin* BWHAHAHA!

Bruce: *hands over head* The _marshmallows_! Make them stop!

Joker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAH!

Harvey: This cardboard box is trying to make out with me - it's not even my type!

Mummy: My yogurt bowl is singing!

Weird Al: Logic, logic, logic...

Donna: Hey, wait a minute...we're no longer in Egypt!

Crane: *rolls eyes* Of course not! Mr. Po Po is a magical transporting whale! Duh!

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

Mexican Dude:¡Hola! Decir, ustedes me recuerdan a una película que vi la semana pasada. ¿Tienen hambre? Estoy muriendo de hambre! Queso palo, a nadie?

Harvey: Say, Bruce, isn't he speaking German?

Joker: German? I speak German! He, Sie! Würden Sie geschehen, zu wissen, wo wir den nächsten Restroom finden könnten? Ich muss ernsthaft ein Leck nehmen.

Mexican Dude: *blinks - attacks the Joker with his maracas*

Donna: DA DA DA!!

_**To Be Continued...in Mexico...**_

_A/N: So what did Mr. Mexican Dude say? "Hi there! Say, you guys remind me of a movie I saw last week. You guys hungry? I'm starving! Cheese stick, anyone?" and Mr. J's German greeting, "Hey, you! Would you happen to know where we could find the nearest restroom? I seriously need to take a leak." _

_***Commercial***_

_**Advertiser: Are you tired of people trying to assassinate you?**_

_**Random Person: Why, yes, I am!**_

_**Advertiser: Then the new 2010 Stapler is for you!**_

_**Donna: What the - ? We have commercials now?**_

_**Joker: I, uh, don't remember this being in the contract. *licks lips***_

_**Bruce: Yeah, it says it right here! *pulls out huge magnify glass***_

_**Donna: I hate my life.**_

_**Joker: Don't worry Donny, you still have me!**_

_**Donna: GAAAAA! *jumps off building and lands safely on the ground* **_

_**Olivia: BWHAHA! You can't die until I say so!**_

_**Donna: *pulls out 2010 Stapler and stabs Olivia***_

_**Bruce: D:**_

_**Joker: 8D **_

_**Olivia: You fool, I created you!**_

_**Advertiser: This Commercial is brought to you by The Amazing Adventures of Donna, Joker, and Batman!**_

:


	9. One Shot Side Story

_**A/N: You guys rock, you know that? Well, I was a bit bored, so I decided I'd write a short little story about nothing at all. All the gang are momentarily living in this small apartment like place in-between episodes. It's not random like I had hoped it'd be, but I'm tired and random, crazy things don't come easily to me when I am. Yes, I did cut the story short, so use your imagination. Have a good week! (This was inspired by a flooding that almost took place at my friend's house during a sleep over.)**_

"Like I said," Crane said, pushing his glasses onto a more secure position. "We check out what the Clown is up to and we win brownie points with Bruce! Then, he won't be so mad when he discovers we set fire to his carpet."

Harvey grinned, his mouth too full of cookies to reply. He reached into the snack bag and pulled out another Oreo. "So how are we going to find out what the Joker's doing? He never was much of a guy with a plan."

"Simple," Crane explained cheerfully. He pointed down the hall, full of water because of flooding, to the Joker's bedroom.

Harvey choked. "Are you implying we _search_ in _his_ room? He'll kill us!"

Crane rolled his eyes. "Do you have a better plan? This is the only way we'll ever know. Come on, let's go get clearance from the door Nazi." he ignored Harvey's harsh glare as he stood up and walked into the living room.

Donna was busily stacking away items onto shelves and tables that were higher than the water level. Her long red hair was a wet mess and her face was streaked with bits of mud. Crane quickly acted the part of _innocent-Crane-helping-Donna-stack-up_ and trotted over to her side, holding a plastic box that she hadn't yet moved. Harvey, who had followed Crane, stood under the livingroom's door, munching away. It was a mystery to Crane how Harvey stayed in shape.

The young show hostess looked up at Crane in surprise. Her thoughts had obviously been elsewhere. "Were you able to clear the back rooms?" she took the box Crane handed her and set it on top of the coffee table.

"Yes, everything's clear."

Harvey gave Crane a twisted expression, his cookie crammed mouth preventing him from saying otherwise.

"Say, you don't think a certain _gentlemen_ would mind if we helped move stuff out of his room would you?" Crane asked the question as casually as if he was asking about the weather.

Donna saw right through his innocence. "Actually, I think a certain gentlemen _would_." she pushed the Tv set aside to make room. "Why do you want to go in there?"

Harvey had finally managed to cram the food down his throat. He held up a hand to signify he wanted to speak, but with Donna's turned back and Crane's glare of doom, Harvey figured what he had to say wasn't really that important.

"The Joker's been up to something. I want in on it." Crane pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt. Hey, a little lie never hurt anybody. It was a lot better than the truth anyhow. He eyed Donna's face, wishing she wasn't so stubborn.

The kitchen phone rang at that moment. Donna gave Crane a grin and tossed him a card that allowed entrance to all of the apartment's rooms. "If he guts you, don't blame me."

Crane gave Donna a sour smile, slipping his glasses back into place. He turned to Harvey and sighed dramatically. "Remind me again why we appointed her to be the one to hold onto this?"

"We didn't. They wouldn't let _us_ vote on the matter." Harvey crumbled up the bag and went with Crane over to the Joker's room.

Crane tumbled with the card, trying to slip it into the slot. The light turned green and with a slight push, the door swung open.

The two of them stared with wonder, mouths gaping, eyes wide. The entire room was covered with newspaper clips and little red drawings.

Harvey plucked an article off the wall. "He reads, _Dear Abby_?"

Crane headed over to a large desk, opening drawers and pulling out anything that looked interesting. Soon, with the help of Harvey, they had collected a small stack of papers which they stuffed into a suitcase.

"Where are we going to hid this? We can't carry it around in full view." Harvey noted as Crane locked the door behind them. In his response, Crane led him back to the living room. Donna was no where in sight.

"Donna so kindly created a nice pile for which we can hide our newly found treasure." Crane chuckled. He began moving items aside, creating a small cave for the suitcase.

"There had better be a good excuse why my stuff is on the floor." Donna fumed, eyeing Crane and Harvey.

Harvey glanced at Crane and said the first thing that popped into his head. "Flood insurance?"

"'Flood insurance'?" Donna repeated. She stepped into the apartment's small living room, her legs knee deep in water. "Those are my things, you can't just move them so that you can stack your own stuff in it's place."

Crane pointed at Harvey. "It was his idea!"

The Joker entered from the kitchen, tossing his cell phone carelessly into the water. "Well, I called Bats up and he's sending a team over. We just need to-"__the Joker stopped in mid sentence, grinning suddenly when he realized an argument was in play. "Hello, boys and girls. What did I, uh, miss?" he raised his eye brows expectantly.

"These dumb nuts moved my stuff so that they could keep _their_ junk safe." Donna gestured at the two men.

"Relax, Donny, your face is matching the color of your hair. Not that I mind, I think it's cute. " the Joker took a causal step toward Crane, escaping Donna's swatting hand. "The point is, this is all _stuff_. What is up with material things and people? Sometimes I just want to-" he eyed the item in Harvey's hand. "That had better not be my suitcase."

Crane and Harvey made a mad dash down the hall, screaming their heads off like a bunch of twelve year old girls. Harvey was clutching the purple suitcase as tight as he could while Crane shouted off instructions to get up on the roof. The Joker followed right behind them, pulling out one of his switch blades. If they had his tortilla recipes, he was going to kill them.


	10. Special Edition Hot N Cold 2: Mexico

_**A/N: In celebration to the new Star Trek movie (which I watched the day after it came out), I've added the Enterprise team for all my fellow Trekkies :D**_ _**I hope you enjoy, I had a lot of fun writing this one. **_

_**Please check out these new stories by my friends: Blackdiamond13 and WolfFreak. Be nice and leave them a review! **_

_.net/s/5039907/1/They_must_be_smokin_somthing_

_.net/s/5052759/1/The_Adventures_of_Doctor_Rose_and_Joker_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Dark Knight characters or Star Trek :D**

_Postcard #9: Mexico_

*Random Show Tune*

Donna: Hmm, well, this does prove to be a problem.

Bruce: How come fan girls like _him_ not _me_?!

Joker: It's the scars. Drives females _crazy_.

Donna: Oh, shut up. *looks at camera* Oh, are we filming?

Bruce: GAA! My hair! *combs hair*

Donna: Shoot, no time! Run!

Mob of Fan Girls: WE LOVE JOKER! WE LOVE JOKER!

Bruce & Donna: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Joker: BWHAHAHAH!

Crane: *wakes up sleepily from nap* What did I - AAAH! Quick, Mr. Po Po, fly! Fly!

Mr. Po Po: Moo. *sprouts wings - flies into the sky with Crane*

Bruce: Hmm,_ now_ I've seen everything...

Donna: What are we going to do?

Joker: No worries, I have a *cough* _plan_. *pulls out phone*

Harvey: Did he just say the _**P**_ word?!

Alfred: *horrified scream*

Bruce: *faints into Donna's arms*

Donna: This is embarrassing. *drops Bruce* Better hurry, Joker, they're catching up.

Mob of Fan Girls: WE LOVE YOU JOKER! MARRY ME! WE WILL SERVE YOU!

Random Mexican: Hello, Cousin! I have come to help you. Again.

Everyone: *blinks*

Joker: This is my cousin, Ruben and his immortal guinea pig, Greg.

Ruben:*pulls out gun and shoots it* See? Bullet proof. Now, how can I help you?

Alfred: I'm afraid we've run into some trouble with the local Fan Girls.

Ruben: Ah, the Raptors.

Donna: The_ what_?

Ruben: Raptors. It stands for:

**R**eally

cr**A**zy

**P**eople

wi**T**h

n**O**

**R**eason

Harvey: Can I have your autograph?

Bruce: I like this guy :D

Joker:*straps bomb on Greg and throws him into Mob of Fan Girls*

Ruben: Go get them, Gregy!

_**BOOM!**_

*Mr. Po Po falls out of sky - Crane lands on top of Ruben*

Crane: What is the meaning of this? Mr. Po Po, are you alright?

Ruben: You fool, do you believe you can spoil this moment by dropping your stupid whale on my guinea pig?

Crane: I'm insulted!

Donna: Well, that worked!

Bruce: Wait a second, what's happen?

Ruben: We're being beamed up by the _Enterprise_, duh!

Crane: You're a Trekki too?! Let's be friends!

Joker: Don't be ridiculous, we're not being -

– _Transmitter Room, Enterprise_ –

Joker: *faints*

Harvey: Say, Bruce, doesn't that guy look like Leonard Nimoy?

Captain Kirk: Haha, Spock, you _do _look like Nimoy!

Spock: I fail to see the humor in this humanized joke.

Ruben & Crane: _**We're not worthy! We're not worthy! **_*bow down to Spock*

Donna: Greetings, why were we brought aboard the Enterprise?

Dr. McCoy: Actually, me and Scotty here were just playing around with the transmitter. We had no idea we would pick up you hitchhikers.

Scotty: Captain, permission to shoot the whale.

Crane: Has no idea heard of animal rights?!

Joker: *wakes up* I just had the weirdest dream - wait, is that Leonard Nimoy?

Spock: UGH! What is with you stupid humans thinking I'm Leonard Nimoy? I've never met the guy!

Captain Kirk: I thought you told me you and him used to be roommat-

Spock: You so are so gullible, Kirk! *storms out of room-Ruben and Crane holding onto his legs*

Bruce: Well, if you don't mind, could you beam us back down to Earth?

Scotty: With pleasure!

_**To Be Continued...**_

**A/N: Hmmm...where should I take them next?**


	11. Special Edition Hot N Cold: Po Po Club

**A/N: I am so sorry for not writing! Now that I am finally out of school, I'll be able to write a lot more now. I have a lot of other stories that I will be posting as soon as I begin writing them. I want to thank you all for the waterfall of places they should go! I will try my best to do all of them. For the final two instalments of this Special Edition, I chose the most popular requests. I will be posting the actual chapter soon. Thanks again!**

*Random Show Tune*

Harvey: I don't know about this...

Joker: _Tsk, tsk_, having doubts this early in the game are we?

Bruce: Shun the non believer! He does not have faith in the almighty, Mr. Po Po!

Bruce & Joker: SHUN! SHUN! SHUN! SHUN!

Crane: What is going on here? *gasps* _**Mr. Po Po!**_Why is he wearing a Tu Tu? And why on earth does he have a Burger King crown on?!

Joker: *points at Harvey* It was _his_ idea.

Bruce: Yes, it all was. Even the Burger King crown! I told him we should use a princess crown but he wouldn't listen...

Harvey: That was _your_ idea!

Crane: I don't care who's idea it was! I shall report this to Alfred at once and make sure Mr. Po Po is back safe and sound in his pool.

Alfred: They didn't have any strawberry tarts so I got the Almighty Sir Po Po some cinnamon muffins instead. *notices Crane* Oh-really-bad-word-that-I-can't-say-because-Olivia-would-have-to-kick-the-rating-up-several-levels.

Olivia: *cheerfully* You better believe it!

Crane: You traitor! You and your cinnamon muffins! May I?

Alfred: Certainly, sir. *offers Crane a muffin*

Donna: *talking to Rachel*...and so I told Gordan, "Gordan, only certain people can wear Spandex, but you're _not_ one of them." and he got all offensive and was like, "Oh, so are you saying I'm fat?" and I'm like, "No, not at all. Just some men don't have the look is all. I mean, take Superman for-" _Uh_...What is Mr. Po Po doing in my bed room?

Random Hotel Maid: A better question would be why all of the_ men_ are in your room...

Rachel: Oh, that's _normal_. After they discovered the chocolate fountain I got her for her birthday, they tend to have their little "group therapy sessions" in her room.

Joker: HAHAH! "Group therapy sessions"! *...* Wait, _I_ came up with that.

Christopher Nolan: Actually, I did, but okay... *shrugs*

Bruce: Now, as President of the Royal Po Po Club, I brought you all together to finish discussing our travel plans. Harvey, if you would please.

Harvey: *shows graphs* According to the tally of votes we have received from the National Po Po Committee, it seems there has been a tie as to which destination to travel to next. The tie was between Disney Land and Paris.

Joker: Did you, uh, draw those graphs with crayons? *snickers*

Crane: Personally, I think we should all go to Paris where we can enjoy the beauty and history of the city, try fine wines, go the great tower...

Everyone: ...

Crane: Or we could go there and party.

Donna & Rachel: PARIS! PARIS!

Harvey: Paris is only for bunch of girls.

Donna & Rachel: ***glare of doom***

Joker: You guys have _got_ to teach me that.

Donna: Maybe we will. _If_ you vote that we go to Paris.

Joker: You are _evil_... I think I'm in love!

Fox: Might I make a suggestion?

Alfred: _Please_...

Fox: I suggest we form two groups for the time begin. All those who wish to go to Disney Land will be one group and the rest who want to go to Paris are another. I have another camera man who could film the group that does not have a camera. Everyone gets to go where they want to and the readers get to enjoy learning about all the_ stupid _things you do.

Crane: I'm insulted!

Donna: Hey, at least we get paid...

Harvey: I don't!

Joker: Check your fly, Harv.

Donna: Well I like this suggestion. Everyone for Paris over here and for Disney Land, over there! Time to hit the road!


	12. Special Edition Hot N Cold: Delay

_**I hope you guys will forgive me. Finally, after so long, I write! I promise I will write. I promise, I promise, I promise! I will get them traveling soon :D**_

_**Postcard: Toronto**_, _**Canada 3: 42 p.m.**_

Airplane Stewardess: Thank you for choosing American Airlines! On your way out, please thank our special guest, Mr. J, for not blowing us into pieces. If you have any - Mr. Dent, please don't touch that. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Please, don't do - _Security!_

Harvey: Good grief, a person can't do anything these days without getting yelled at.

Joker: *winks at Stewardess* Here's my card...

Donna: Welcome to another addition of, Amazing Adventures! We _were_ planning on going to Disney Land, but because a certain _Bacon Head_ decided that he just _had_ to flip his stupid coin, he bought us tickets for a plane heading to _**Canada!**_

Harvey: Hey, I made you cupcakes. What more do you want?

Joker: Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. You really have no experience with women. Which is why you have been chosen to be on my _**The Joker's Crazy Advice Show!**_

*random theme song - dancing henchmen - flashing lights*

Harvey: *squeals* I've always wanted to be on this show!

Donna: What the -? No, _**no**_! We are _not _doing this! We are getting tickets for Florida -

Joker: _Tsk, Tsk_, Midear. Silence is golden and duct tape is silver! *duct tapes Donna - grabs microphone* Thank you, thank you! Joining me today is a close_ fiend_ of mine. Please welcome, _**Wolverine**_!

Wolverine: Better make this quick, Bub.

Joker: Now, Harv, there are three simple steps to winning a woman's heart. The first step is quiet easy and has shown to be very successful: be Hugh Jackman. Check out Wolvie here, he's got that down to a science!

Harvey: _Oooo! Awww!_

Wolverine: Watch it, Giggles. I told you my name was Logan.

Joker: Whatever. Women love men with knives. I mean, why do you think I get _this_ reaction whenever a pull out a knife?

Stewardess: *horrified scream*

Wolverine: *rolls eyes*

Harvey: *scribbles on notepad*

Joker: So for the second step, always carry a knife around. Even if you don't know how to use it.

Wolverine: Hey, I wasn't paid to stand here and look pretty you know.

Joker: Oh, uh, okay then. _Hit it, boys!_

*henchman starts playing _Oklahoma_ on piano - Wolverine magically appears on stage*

Wolverine: Really funny, Bub. So, anyway, the third step. Even though I do get little attention when I do _this_ *extracts claws* and _this_ *roars* - It just isn't enough sometimes.

Harvey: *stares at crowd of fan girls* It _**isn't?**_

Joker: 0_0 That's cheating!

Donna: *rips off duct tape - lands in Wolverine's arms* I LOVE YOU LOGAN! 3

Joker: ***cloud of smoke***

Wolverine: Nope, sometimes you have to wear the perfect ... deodorant.

Harvey: This guy is good!

Joker: DIE DIE DIE! *stabs Wolverine* Drat, I forgot about your stupid healing power.

Wolverine: *blows raspberry at Joker*

Harvey: Hey, guys, check it out! It's the X-Men team!

Professor X: Pleasure to meet you all. I understand you need a ride to Disney Land.

Donna: Yes, we do! Thank you!

Gambit: Oh, nice jacket. Wanna play some Gold Fish?

Joker: *grins* You, uh, dear sir, have been promoted to "Best Friend".

Cyclops: Oh, dear. That's...not good.

Phoenix: Hey, you have red hair. I have red hair too. Does that mean we're friends?

Donna: No.

Phoenix: I can read your thoughts. *winces* Hey, that wasn't nice!

Donna: *evil grin*

Cyclops: What's up with your face?

Harvey: I put out a grease fire. I was promoted employee of the month.

Cyclops: *awed look* You're my hero.

Rogue: Will you two turn it down?** SHUT UP!**

Joker & Gambit: *dancing around* _Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my Poker Face (She's got to love no body) Can't read my, Can't read my_, _No he can't read my Poker Face (She's got to love no body)._

Donna: *sighs* This is so embarrassing.


	13. Special Edition Hot N Cold 3: Paris

_**AN**_**: Have I mentioned I love you guys? Really, I do! I can't believe the amount of reviews I have for this story, I'm so happy :) And for that, you all can come get a free piggy back ride from Dr. Crane (if you're really nice, you might even get to ride on Mr. Po Po! How do you like that, kiddies?). So thank you once again. Now grab some popcorn, kick off your shoes, and enjoy the show!** **(BTW, did you guys know that Spiderman is considered incorrect spelling on Word Perfect? That's terrible!)**

_Olivia: *hiding behind restaurant* BWHAHA! I can command snow to fall in my story!_

_French Weatherman: You are a cruel woman, madam - I loose my job because of you. Therefore, I shall kill you now. *pulls out machine gun*_

_Olivia: *does ninja kick - pulls out 2010 Stapler* You can't destroy me, I created you!_

_**Postcard: Paris, France**_

*Random Show Tune - Art Gallery*

Crane: *holding camera* I am the Master of Fear, the terror of Gotham. All that see me fall to their knees and beg for mercy, yet I will show them none. I am your worst nightmare. I am the monster you fear in dark. I am - _**SPIDER!**_ Kill it, Mr. Po Po! Kill it!

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

Bruce: Hmmm...that was good. Just cut out the spider bit and I think you'll have a killer profile page for _Villain On-Line Dating_.

Random French Dude: Excuse, monsieur, but we do not allow_ baleines_ in our art gallery.

Rachel: What on earth is a _baleine_?

Bruce: Maybe it's French for _Freakishly Gigantic Jelly Bean_.

Crane: Don't listen, Mr. Po Po - It's lies! All lies!

Superman: *crashes through roof* Quick, Bruce! We must stop Luthor from his evil plan of killing me with Kryptonite air freshener and then taking over the world to create a giant donut at once!

Bruce: Didn't you do all that last week?

Superman: No, no, no. Last week he was trying to kill me with those little hotel chocolates that had Kryptonite hidden inside. Luckily for me, my X Ray vision saved me! Not to mention he was trying to take over all the local candy shops, not the world.

Alfred: Have you ever thought of actually getting rid of the guy, sir?

Superman: He _does_ get on my nerves...

Bruce: Welp, everyone knows our number one rule, but that doesn't mean that we can't get other people to do it!

Superman: YAY!

Rachel: Wait, you guys mean you're going to hire a guy to kill _for_ you? Isn't that the same -

*Superman pokes her unconscious*

Bruce: Hey, Crane! Luthor ABUSES whales - for _**fun**_.

Crane: WHAT?!

Luthor: Yo, what's up hommies? Crane, my main man, how you hangin'?

Crane: .... care to see my mask? *sprays Luthor with toxin*

Superman: Hey, your plan worked - Thanks, Bruce! *flies away*

Rachel: Well that was interesting. Come on, Mr. Po Po, teleport us to the Eiffel Tower.

Mr. Po Po: 'K. *teleports them to Eiffel Tower*

Alfred: Oh dear. I believe your whale has suffocate a group of girl scouts, sir.

Bruce: *gasp* SAVE THE COOKIES!

Crane: Mr. Po Po, move to the left. Now to the right. No, not to the left. I said right. Right. THAT'S TOO FAR!

Random Tourist: Check it out. The Eiffel's tipping over. Sweet. Honey, take a picture of me before the tower crashes.

Rachel: Quick! This is a job for -

Bruce: *pulls on suit* BATMAN!

Rachel: Actually, I was going to say Spiderman, but okay.

Spiderman: Did someone call my name?

Alfred: Indeed, we did, sir. As you can see, the weight of that fat piece of blubber is causing the tower to fall over.

Crane: Mr. Po Po is not fat!

Alfred: So if you could kindly save us since my Master is too busy pulling on his tights.

Spiderman: Well, this is going to be a tough job, but with both Batman's powers and mine, we can stop it!

Bruce: Powers? What powers?

Spiderman: Ready, Batman? Let's do this! *jumps off the tower*

Bruce: B-b-but - !

*five minutes later*

Rachel: *palm face* This is embarrassing. Alfred, could you do something?

Alfred: I could dress up like Katy Perry and sing for you. *poofs into wedding dress*

_Cause you're hot then you're cold _

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in and you're out_

_You're up and you're down _

Crane: Oh, oh! Pick me! *dresses up - puts dress on Mr. Po Po*

_You're wrong when it's right_

_It's black and it's white _

_We fight, we break up _

_We kiss, we make up_

Rachel: ENOUGH! STOP IT! _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_! *dies*

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

Spiderman: **YAY**! We saved the day!

Bruce: *collapses from exhaustion* Hey, I'm kinda hungry. Let's go to a drive thru!

*everyone get into the Tumbler - Mr. Po Po is duct taped on top*

Crane: What doesthi_s _button do?

Bruce: Milkshake maker.

Rachel: And _this _one?

Bruce: Time machine.

Alfred: How about that big one?

Bruce: That's the horn.

Crane: This car is boring.

Mr. Po Po: Moo. *sprouts wings - lifts Tumbler into sky*

Crane: Mr. Po Po, what is the meaning of this?

Alfred: I believe there is an incoming call, Master Bruce.

Bruce: Who on earth would be calling me?

Donna: *from phone* _**Bruce Wayne, if you don't get away from these morons, I swear I'll dye your hair pink!**_

Joker: Now, now, Donny -

Donna: Don't you _Donny_ me! Harvey, if you get the wrong tickets again, I'll kill you. SAVE ME, BRUCE!

Bruce: Sorry, kinda busy. Talk to you later, bye!

Rachel: Well, this has been a great vacation *grins*

Alfred: Thank you for joining for this episode of _Amazing Adventures_. Please join us next time!

Rachel: Oh dear. I forgot to buy Harvey his underwear...

*camera flicks off*

_**Alterative Scene**_ _**(Original Script)**_

Rachel: You know, we could have very easily gotten a taxi.

Crane: Don't be silly. By not using a taxi, we are helping making the world a better place for whales.

Bruce: Which is why you've been screaming, "Don't abuse whales!" while riding around on Mr. Po Po for the past four hours.

Crane: Oh,_ please_, Mr. Po Po need his exercise.

Mr. Po Po: Moo.

Rachel: Say, isn't that Lex Luthor?

Luthor: Yo, what's up my gansta hommies? Crane, my main man, how you hangin'?

*Crane and Luthor do an official Evil Villain Handshake*

Crane: Hey, isn't that Superman?

Bruce: Oh, great, not _him_.

Superman: **HEY BRUCY!**

Bruce: Hey...Clark.

Superman: **I'M SO WONDERFUL AND I'M GOING TO GO SAVE THE WORLD FROM LUTHER AGAIN BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY VILLAIN I HAVE BECAUSE I'M TOO STUPID TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE! I'M SO COOL, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!**

Crane: 0_0 Why are you wearing your underwear over your tights? I thought only Harvey did that.

Superman: **BECAUSE I'M SO WONDER THAT'S WHY! HA HA! I'M WONDERFUL!**

Bruce: That's nice.

Luther: Yo, my tight wearing hommie!

Superman: **OMG, IT'S HIM! I HAVE TO STOP HIM BECAUSE I'M SUPERMAN AND I DO THAT! I'M SO COOL AND PERFECT!**


End file.
